Bittersweet Laughter
by rYazUKi
Summary: Sometimes the happiest people, the one's who laugh the loudest and smile the widest are the ones hurting the most. And one thing that we can be certain of, is that if they bottle up that pain, one day they'll break into pieces. Full summary inside.


**This is my new story, and I'm kind of stuck in a rut on my old story. I read Twilight, but I never really liked it too much. But I like the characters, even though they didn't delve nearly deep enough into the subconscious of any of them (in my opinion) :D But anyways, here's my story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I own any affiliated characters. But the plot is mine (:**

**Summary: Bella's the perfect girl. Queen bee, popular friends, parties, what more could she want? But she's not happy. She keeps it all bottled up inside her, and one day, she'll just pop like a balloon. But then she meet's Edward, a boy with a past even more mysterious and darker than hers. Even though they're both jaded, can they heal each other, and can Edward bring out the real Bella, not just the one she shows the world?**

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><p>Have you ever just looked at people? Looked at how they behave, looked at how they interact? Just looked. Watched, observed, gazed, however you want to describe it. They're so complicated. Just look at the people with the loudest laugh, the biggest smile, with the most energetic giggle. At first glance, they seem so happy. You wish you were that happy, that confident. But if you look deeper, actually take the time to watch them; you start to sense that their happiness isn't real. It's not genuine. You can just sense the pain behind them, but they hide it away, and force a fake smile upon their faces. But they laugh a little too loud, smile a little too wide. You can see the glint of fear shining in their eyes all the time. <em>Will I be discovered? <em>It seems to say.

Sometimes, the people who laugh the hardest are the ones who hide their true feelings the most. But what will inevitably happen, if they hurt for too long or too much; they will come to a breaking point. A point where for no reason, they'll burst into tears of emotion, and become so fragile as their shattering heart breaks into pieces. To the point where their eyes fill with tears of fear, hurt, and sadness. When you can no longer see the joy that used to be so plain upon their faces, rather, there is only the terror. Raw emotion at it's finest. As they become so brittle from the pain they've been hiding away from too long, and the façade finally reveals the true person underneath. Broken. Lost. Destroyed.

Anybody around you, your friends, family, strangers, may be the person hurting with a smile on their face. Their bittersweet laughter. They, themselves, refuse to acknowledge the hurt they are going through, but the more they hide it, the worse it will be later on. It's true, the happiest people aren't always so happy. They hide their true self, wanting to be somebody they're not. They think that if you can pretend to be happy, you will be happy. They think that if they're somebody else for long enough, they'll eventually turn into somebody else. So they try to act strong, and hold their burden all by themselves. They think it will make them happy. But it doesn't. They hurt more and more, until they can't take it anymore. And they're gone. Everything they worked so hard to be, torn apart in that one instant. And they're dead.

This is the story of Bella Swan.

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><p>"Come on!" I kicked my locker, the metallic clanging sounding like music to my ears. "Mother fucker!" I screeched loudly, and slapped my locker once more for effect. This thing never opened. Groaning, I slumped against my locker, took a deep breath, and forced a perky grin back onto my face as I saw the rush of people coming my way for locker break. <em>Mother fucker when will I ever get a break. <em>I quickly turned back towards my lock, and tried twisting the godforsaken dial again. Three clicks, and it opened on the first time. _Thank God for small mercies. _

"Hey Bells," Rose stalked up to me, eyeing me up like a cat eyed up its next meal. What can I say. Her porcelain skin, long, perfect blonde curls, combined with her expertly applied makeup and voluptuous curves, along with the fact she was the cheerleading captain, made her typical popular bitch. She was stunning. Everybody agreed on that. But she was also the bitchiest girl I've ever loved.

"Rose." I nod to her, still struggling to dump my books into my bag. She threw her head back and laughed, sounding like angels tickling a newborn baby. _Even her voice is fucking beautiful. _"Stop fucking laughing at me, will you?" I growl at her, unable to mask the smile from creeping up my face.

"You make it too easy. Now come with me to the bathroom. I need to fix my makeup." She grabbed my bag from my arms, gracefully slung it over my shoulder, closed my locker, and locked it, all in a matter of seconds.

"Dumb bitch." I grumble, and follow her as she makes her way through the crowded hallway. As we enter the bathroom, she takes out her makeup bag and starts to enhance her already spectacular makeup. I sit on the counter top and stare at her putting the makeup on.

"Going all lesbian on me?" She teases, while applying a generous coat of mascara. I grab her hand and kiss it, while she pulls it away laughing. "Stop it, I'm trying to fix my goddamn makeup whore!" She giggles. Rose and I have been best friends since first grade, when she stole my pink crayon to throw at the teacher for not putting her drawing up on the board.

"Anything special going on today? You don't usually need to touch up your makeup till after lunch," I wink at her, giggling at her obsession with her outward appearance. She was already the hottest girl at school, even without makeup.

"Hot date with Mason after school," she responds. "His parents aren't home so we're probably gonna get a little wild." She waggles her finger in front of my face, squinting her eyes at me. "Still haven't lost your v-card yet?"

"Chill Rose, we're just seniors. I have another couple of years to make is special." I smack her hand away. "It's not like I go and get friendly with all the guys in the school like you." I twitch my finger at her condescendingly. "Rosalie Hale, you'll never get into any college if you keep fraternizing around with boys like this." I mimic our Indian principal's accent, and both of us burst out laughing.

"Fuck that's exactly what she sounds like!" she says between breaths of air, as we continue laughing. The bell that signals our passing period, in which we have 5 minutes to get to class, rings loudly.

"I have psych next, so I'd better get to class. Ponz loves to give me detentions." I groan, and Rose makes the universal sign for _go away _by waving her fingers. I prance out the door, and head towards my psych class. _Only psych, then there's lunch, then 2 more classes, and you're out. You can do this Bella. _I saunter down the hallway, purposefully avoiding everyone's stares. "Emmett!" I cry out, and I run towards him, burying my face in his clothing. Anyone passing by might have thought we were a couple, but this guy was in love with Rose, and he was my cuddly teddy bear.

"Bella-boo! I hear Ponz is in a worse mood than usual today. Better watch out, or he might try to come onto you again," Emmett laughed at my misery. At 6'4", and built like a linebacker, Emmett was probably the biggest guy you've ever seen, but he was all muscle. He was also the football quarterback, and the only guy Rose hasn't fucked. And he'd be the first guy you think she would've, been head cheerleader and quarterback. But she cares about him too much for him to be one of her conquests, even though she won't admit it.

"Ugh, don't even remind me. The guy's insane, I swear. He's probably raped little girls before." I shudder and reply. Mr. Ponz was this balding, 40 year old man, with a creepy squint that made you rethink walking home alone.

I walk into the class and take my normal seat near the back next to Embry, Caylex, and Emmett. There's a whole chart of popularity based on where you sit. If you sit in the front, or near the front, you're a nerd. If you sit in the complete back, you're a loser with no friends. If you sit in the middle, you're indecisive. So that only leaves the fourth or fifth rows (out of six). It's the perfect seats. For the perfect people. I'm not trying to be overconfident or cocky here, but my friends and I rule the school. We're the kids that everybody wishes they were. We have the best seat at lunch, the best food, and the hottest guys. We are the queen bees of Forks High School, and we're not afraid to show it. We're the girl's who, after high school, will be remembered. We partied a little too hard, drank a little too much, listened too little (or not at all), and had the most fun. High school is supposed to be the best times of our lives. So why doesn't it feel like it for me?

As Ponz walks in, late as usual, all the talking ceases. Everybody is scared of him. Rumor is, even our principal is. She hired him so that he get's his daily dose of girl's, and he wouldn't touch her. It's total bullshit of course, like every other rumor, but it's fun to spread. I slowly let myself relax a bit, but don't let the smile drop from my face. I'm the happy one after all.

As Ponz drones on and on about whatever, Emmett and I pass notes slyly.

_Anything going on between you and Rose? ;) _I flick at his face, watching his bemused expression as he realizes what it is.

_Yeah we're totally fucking and not telling you. _He throws this back at me, and I pout at him after reading.

I scrawl quickly back at him, _That's hurtful Emmyboo. I thought you were all mine (; xoxo No but seriously. You and Rose. Spill. _I wink at him as I discreetly flick this onto his desk. He reads it, and within seconds I have another piece of paper hit me on the head.

_I'm all yours Bellarooni :) But yeah, you know Rose. Off fucking every other guy in this school, but leaving me to clean up the broken pieces after she's done with them. Just holding her together, as usual. _Emmett puts the piece of paper on my desk, and looks at me sadly. Reading this, I begin to worry.

"Hey Ems, you okay?" I whisper to him, tapping his shoulder. "You want to talk after school or something?"

"No it's all good Bells. It's just sometimes I wonder if I should just give up on Rose, you know? I mean, I've been chasing her for months. If anything were supposed to come out of it, don't you think it would have already? She's been with every other guy, but not me." Emmett laughs quietly, his laughter coarse with emotion. He's only like this when he talks about Rose. All the time he's this playful guy, but Rose hurts him. He loves her, but she barely bats an eye at him.

"Em, she doesn't want to be with you because she's not good with relationships. And never give up on Rose. If you give up on her, I'll be the only one holding her together. She's fragile, you know that," I murmur, placing my hand on his shoulder silently. "I'm sorry Em. But come on, you ready for the football game later on?" _Lame attempt at changing the conversation Bella._

Emmett seemed to realize how uncomfortable I was becoming, so he writes me another note.

_So after school we still hanging at Mike's place? He's having a party. There'll be kegs (; Drown out our troubles in alcohol. _He aims this one right at my face, causing me to gasp when it hits me on the nose. I shoot him a dirty look, and he laughs quietly.

_That fucker? Do we have to? _This one lands right in front of him, and after reading it he guffaws loudly. Everybody turns to stare, except Ponz, who continues writing on the board like nothing happened.

_There'll be beer Bells. _Is all he writes. I whisper in response "I'm there."

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><p>Walking out of last period, I groan in relief. <em>This day is finally over. Only like, a billion more till the end of school. <em>Keeping the smile plastered on my face, I begin to walk to my rusty, red truck. Most people laugh at me for keeping such an old possession, but it has so many fond memories of me and Charlie, my dad. As soon as I'm inside though, I relax my grin and slump down, sighing loudly. I sit there for a few minutes, inhaling and exhaling loudly, trying to keep my emotions under control. Feeling a pair of eyes drilling a hole into my back, I begin to prepare myself to grin wildly again, when I look to the right.

A pair of unfamiliar green eyes stares at me. The color mesmerizes me, at the edge it's dark blue, slowly turning into a deep forest green, which even mixes with amber and sapphire at some parts. Spreading my vision wider, I find myself staring at a chiseled, stubbly jaw, full lips, and most of all that hair. Sweet baby Jesus on a cracker. It was a shade of chestnut brown I've never seen before, glinting almost gold in the sunlight, and was tousled, looking like he had just got out of bed. He was smoking a cigarette, and exhaled smoke into the air. I had never found smoking attractive in the least, but this guy, Oh Lord. His mouth formed a perfect O when he exhaled. We maintain eye contact for a few seconds, then I turn around, breaking the connection. Shivering, I run my hand up and down my arm. I have goosebumps.

He unnerved me. I'm not sure in a good way or a bad way. He just spelled trouble. From his black leather jacket, to his black jeans. Trouble in a beautiful container. I knew one thing for sure, before the end of the day, I was going to find out his name.

Resting my head against the seat for a few minutes, I finally insert the keys into the ignition, and begin to drive home. After about seven minutes, I arrive to my house on the outskirts of town. Slamming the door of my red truck, I steel myself, and inhale sharply. All the lights in my house are off. _Good._ When you take your first glance at it, it looks like a typical suburban family style home. Pink walls, flowerbeds, and light frilly curtains. The little rooster weathervane that lives at the tip of our house. But when you begin to look a bit closer, you notice some odd qualities to it. The paint is peeling, the flowerbeds are empty save for a few dead weeds, and the curtains are ripped and stained in some places. Plus the rooster is missing it's beak, and it's rusted beyond belief. These few little details make our house what it is.

Ever since my mom died, my dad's never been the same. Our house is a mess, and he's even more of a mess. He's been drinking himself into a stupor, and though he'd never hurt a fly, he gets into these fits where he believes Renee is still alive. When he realizes she's gone again, he goes and drinks himself into oblivion again. It's okay though. Everything's fine. Charlie's still gentle. He doesn't hurt me, and he's barely home anyways.

But I have a party to go to. Pushing these thoughts to the back of my mind, I unlock the front door. Walking towards the kitchen, I take out a piece of bread and make myself a sandwich. _Oh thank God it's Friday. _After eating my beautiful peanut-butter sandwich, I begin my weekly drive over to Emmett's house. It's almost tradition. Me, Rose, and Emmett hang out there every week, eat junk food, and get read to go to the party we've obviously been invited to. Even though lately, Rose has been ditching us for her latest boy-toy. It's okay though. Everything's going to go back to normal, and this year will be the best year we've ever had. We'll party, rave, and most of all, act normal.

Everything's been exactly the same as usual this week, and I like it that way. It's the stability of my routine that makes my life so calming. There was just one odd thing. I can't get those jade eyes out my mind.

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><p><strong>... And scene :)<strong>

**So? Good, bad, terrible, amazing, or I want to burn my eyes out? :) Review please :') I love reviews xD But yeah hopefully this story will speak to me. It has so far. I know, it's going kind of fast, but I'm really bad at writing beginnings. Yes, this is an Edward Bella story, but it will be a slow burn. Even though they met today, they won't interact for a while. She won't even find out it's Edward for a while :)**

**Just review and give me some pointers :D I'm still young, and I'm not perfect ;)**


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